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Communication during adolescence

Sometimes communication with our teenager seems to go through pleasant and difficult connections, and it may be hard to believe, but no, the teenager is not an alien from a distant planet. It is a transmitter-receiver with a different way of processing. A teenager's brain is still actively developing, so it processes information differently than a mature adult's brain. The frontal cortex - the part of the brain used for emotion management, decision-making, logic and control inhibitions - restructures during adolescence, forming new synapses at an incredible rate, while the whole brain does not reach full maturity. until about mid-20s.

Fear of disconnection and reconnection options

You may despair of failed communication efforts, endless struggles and open contempt - not to mention the mood, strong emotions and impulsive and reckless behavior we feel from the behavior of our teens.

No matter how much our teenager seems to withdraw from us emotionally, no matter how independent the teenager appears to be or how troubled the teenager becomes - they still need our attention and feel that our love for them is not diminished by their behaviors.

It is important to remember that a teenager may be taller than us and look mature in some ways, but they are often simply incapable of thinking things through at an adult level. The hormones produced during the natural changes of adolescence can further complicate things. Now, these biological differences do not justify adolescents' misbehavior or absolve them of responsibility for their actions, but may help explain why adolescents behave so impulsively or frustrate parents and teachers with their bad decisions. social anxiety and revolution. Understanding adolescent development can help us to better understand the behaviors we have had as parents towards them, and to find ways to stay connected to the adolescent and overcome difficulties together.

Communication may seem hopeless - given the child's anger or indifference - but teens still love the love, acceptance, and acceptance of their parents. Positive face-to-face communication is the fastest, most effective way to reduce stress by calming and focusing the nervous system. This means that we probably have a much greater influence on the adolescent than we think. The adolescent needs acceptance and security through empathy, not through severe devaluation.

Find common ground

Fathers and sons are often connected through sports. mothers and daughters for fashion or movies. The goal is not to be your teenager's best friend, but to find common interests that you can discuss peacefully. Once you share your interests with her, your teen may feel more comfortable opening up to other topics. When your teen is talking, it is important to listen without judging, making fun of, interrupting, criticizing, or giving advice. Your teen wants to feel understood and appreciated by you, so keep eye contact and keep your focus on your child, even when they are not looking at you. Your teen may often respond to your attempts to associate with anger, anxiety, or other negative reactions. Stay relaxed and let the teen space relax. Try again later when you are both calm. Successful connection with your teen will take time and effort. Do not procrastinate, the insistence on discussion in relaxed moments thrives on new discoveries, new ways of communication.

A constructive way of communication.

Set boundaries, rules and consequences. At a time when both you and your teen are calm, explain that there is nothing wrong with feeling angry, but there are unacceptable ways to express it, talk about behaviors. If the teen is behaving out of bounds for example, he or she will have to deal with the consequences - loss of privileges or even restriction of activities. Teenagers need a framework, boundaries and rules, now more than ever.

Warning signs of a troubled teenager:

A change in appearance may be a red flag if accompanied by problems at school or other negative behavioral changes.

Signs of self-harm or excessive weight loss or weight gain are also warning signs. Adolescents build their character through the imitation and habits they experience from their parents in childhood, it is the mirror of the connection between parents, it is useful before any strict behavior towards them to remember what we have taught them !!!!

Sometimes communication with our teenager seems to go through pleasant and difficult connections, and it may be hard to believe, but no, the teenager is not an alien from a distant planet. It is a transmitter-receiver with a different way of processing. A teenager's brain is still actively developing, so it processes information differently than a mature adult's brain. The frontal cortex - the part of the brain used for emotion management, decision-making, logic and control inhibitions - restructures during adolescence, forming new synapses at an incredible rate, while the whole brain does not reach full maturity. until about mid-20s.

Fear of disconnection and reconnection options

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Kyriaki Mertzani

Relational Psychotherapist MSc

Individual - Group Relational Therapy

Adolescents - Adults - Couples

Researcher for the reproduction of intergenerational mental traumas.

Coordinator of Adolescent - Adult groups